By: Strelly (2022-10-10 16:57:36) - Last update: 2022-10-10 16:57:36
As I've mentioned before, earlier this year, I decided to quit my job for many reasons, including burn out.
Leaving me creatively dry, unable to code, draw or compose music very effectively.
I could still do it, of course, but I didn't have the drive for it, I wouldn't just sit and code or draw for my own entertainment.
Instead I had to rely on my desire to finish Wishbind to keep functioning creatively.
However, this week I had a long lost feeling come back to me.
An urge to code, a spark that made my brain think about ways of improving my C game engine, what functionality I'd love to see implemented in C, the curiosity of CPU and microcode design...
All of those and many more thoughts started invading my brain recently.
And it feels amazing.
I'm remembering my love for coding and computers, I have the desire to work on projects like my game engine again...
This is such a relief for me.
I mean, I knew they'd eventually come back, I didn't think I'd remain burned out forever, but there was always a "what if" dancing in the back of my mind. Teasing me with the possibility of never recovering that part of me.
I see this as the first step to healing from whatever happened to my mind while working on that job I quit.
Hopefully my drawing urges will also come back soon.
I've also been having more fun with videogames again, so that's cool too.
Anyway, I guess I'll also comment that I love how Wishbind is turning out, and that despite having urges to code my game engine and other projects, my focus is still on Wishbind 100%.
I have my fears, specially because since it's a 2D platformer, there are many other games in the market similar to it, but hopefully I can create a very unique and quirky experience that people will enjoy.
Those fears come from the fact that I want it to succeed economically so I can live my dream of living off of my creative work.
But, from my point of view, regardless if that dream of mine comes true or not.
I'm really proud of what I'm creating here, everytime I work on it, test it, or show it off, a warm feeling fills my chest, and I think to myself that I can't wait for it to be done.
I honestly feel the same way I feel for any other game I'd be waiting for the release of.
Like Silksong, for example.
Anyway, I think that's enough for now, I know that I'm not writing many rants, but the truth is that I haven't had anything that I'd like to rant about, these past few months have been fairly calm, with some ups and downs, but nothing too important.
So, yeah, thanks a lot for reading.