Dreams and people
By: Strelly (2022-07-16 16:48:30) - Last update: 2022-08-21 14:43:10
Sometimes I wish people would tell me to just go for it and focus entirely on my game.
I don't mean anyone of course, I mean people close to me in my life.
I know it's something that shouldn't be necessary, that I should just do it because it's what I want to do.
But I feel like that's easy to say, and I can't help feeling like they don't really believe in what I do, or they don't care.
Which is fine, they don't have to care for what I do, but it ends up being quite demotivating.
I quit my job one month ago, because I was really burnt out.
During the last six months to one year of the job, I couldn't bring myself to do anything like drawing, composing music, or coding personal projects effectively.
It's honestly a miracle I was able to code this website.
And I still haven't recovered from that yet.
I still haven't felt the urge of drawing, haven't had any inspiration for anything. And everytime I sit down to try and force myself, I just end up staring at the white background for thirty minutes before just closing Krita and unplugging my drawing tablet, or LMMS or Godot.
There are many enjoyable moments I still go through. There are still times I can sit down and draw an asset for my game, or fix a bug, or code a feature. I'm sure eventually I'll finish the game.
But I honestly wish someone would just tell me to go for it, to live and make my dream come true. I wish someone would believe in me and care about what I do.
A bit selfish perhaps, could also be an excuse for myself, I'm not sure.
But in the end, I'm a social creature, and I guess I feel the need for social support from time to time.
Maybe it will go away after a while, and I'll be able to freely work on my projects.
Thanks a lot for reading.